Being a parent is such a blessing, but it can be hard. Here is some encouragement and help for you as a mom!
I’ve been a mom for 13 years now, and I mostly have mom friends. I have seen it all or heard it all from married moms, single moms, divorced moms, and exhausted moms. There are lots of things I have learned on this journey so far. One thing I have learned is that we can all use encouragement and help.
(Before I begin, let me say that I know that there are some moms out there who are really abusive to their children. I assume this is not you since you are reading this. I assume that you are a normal mom who loves her kids and does not intentionally do them harm.)
Realize that you are the best mom your child could have
There are many moms throughout history who have parented kids. Some of them have done well, and some not as well. But women are strong, able to weather incredible adversity, are good leaders, and make great teachers. This means you! It’s in your unique “Mom DNA.”
I know that we all have shortcomings and wish we could be better at certain things, be more patient, be more creative, etc. But you are have unique gifts, talents, and abilities that your child needs and is learning from all the time.
Out of every mom in the world, you were the one CHOSEN to care for your child. Your child loves you and looks up to you because you are “Mom.” Even if you completely blow it out of exhaustion one day, your child will still love you and likely easily forgive you when you apologize and ask for forgiveness. Because kids are great that way.
It’s Okay for Your Child to Receive from Others
You are not Superwoman, so don’t expect yourself to be. Your child has many opportunities to learn about life and the world around us from others. You are likely not the only one giving input and love to your child. You may have other moms, grandmas, neighbors, aunts, or teachers who give love and instruction to your child.
This should be comforting because we don’t know everything, but there is such beauty in collective wisdom.
If you have just recently moved (like we have) I realize this will be a bit tougher. It just takes time to find the right people to speak into your child’s life. But do seek it out. The rewards are great. You and your child will both benefit from finding other loving people to spend time with your child.
Realize that you are not alone
I know it’s easy to feel alone sometimes in mothering. But Mom, you are not alone! There is a world full of those who “mom,” those who just enjoy being with children, and still others who enjoy encouraging mothers on the journey. You can find them in online Facebook groups in your area, at the library, at your child’s school or homeschool co-op, at sports clubs, etc.
Or you can try Meetup.com to find ways to meet others in your area. There are meet ups for moms with small children, hiking, playing games, meet ups for singles, Christians, wine clubs, etc. The possibilities are endless!
I see a lot of moms on Facebook complaining that they are alone and don’t have help. I think it’s a little bit like when you were single and you had to put yourself out there for the “right one” to find you. Maybe you found your partner through online dating, at a bar, at church, or through a mutual friend. Again, that took time and maybe a little strategy. But if you put yourself out there some, you will find moms or others to share life with!
The first help or advice I would give a mom is to connect with other moms if you haven’t yet. I love the mom community for many reasons. But the main reason I love this community of women (be it online or in person) is because they are generally full of great information and willing to share it! Moms know the best local spots to go with kids, the best doctors, the best schools, the best bargains, and on and on. So if you are feeling lonely, hop onto your local Facebook Moms page and start reading posts and chatting with other moms. I think you’ll be glad you did!
My Favorite Parenting Books
Loving Our Kids on Purpose
Secondly, if you would like a good resource that has helped me as a mom and many others in their approach to parenting, I would highly recommend Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk. This book will teach parents to train their children to manage their freedoms and protect their important heart to heart relationships.
I think the key principles in this book are really important for society today. In my opinion, one of the issues with Millennials and why they get such a bad rap is because their parents didn’t necessarily train them the best in how to manage their freedoms and grow into responsible adults.
In an article I read, it states, “A story in Time magazine said polls show that Millennials “want flexible work schedules,” more ‘me time’ on the job, and nearly nonstop feedback and career advice from managers.” Another Time story in May 2013, titled “The Me Me Me Generation,” begins: “They’re narcissistic. They’re lazy. They’re coddled. They’re even a bit delusional. Those aren’t just unfounded negative stereotypes about 80 million Americans born roughly between 1980 and 2000. They’re backed up by a decade of sociological research.”
All that to say, I am not trying to speak negatively about Millennials. My point is to say that depending on your age, a lot of the information in “Loving Our Kids on Purpose” may be new for you. It will challenge your thinking and give you practical tools to empower your kids to one day become responsible citizens, and probably eventually become parents themselves one day. And it teaches how to help a child take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming others.
Girl, Wash Your Face
Another book I found helpful is not necessarily for moms, but it’s great for women in general. Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis is a real book about what it’s like to be a woman in today’s world. She identifies the struggles most of us face and tells her story in an entertaining way.
Mom Essential Oils
Another help that I love is essential oils. We use so many in our home depending on the need. In the morning to help everyone get going, I like to diffuse citrus ones like lemon, lime, and grapefruit. When some of us are hormonal, we turn to clary sage. To relax or wind down after a long day, there’s lavender, Balance, and Serenity. There are also oils for anxious feelings, pain, and so many more.
Two articles you may find helpful if you’re new to essential oils is Essential Oils for Beginners and Why to Shop a doTERRA Certified Site. Please message me if you have questions about using essential oils for your family.
My Kids as Encouragement to You
We all make mistakes as parents. I know I have made my fair share. But I will also say that remembering the things above, having good mom community, and using Silk’s book have all helped us raise amazing daughters.
My girls are fun, smart, caring, compassionate, responsible, good communicators, and many other positive things. Other adults (and even kids!) comment on how much they love my girls and what great kids they are. It’s an honor to see them shine.
Other than having a proud mama moment, I want this to encourage you that your kids are wonderful on their own. You don’t have to raise them the way that we have chosen to. There are many good methods and resources out there. But if you choose one that works for your family, then you will see good fruit coming out in your child’s life. If you are not seeing good fruit, feel free to mix it up and try something else. Our children are a blessing. Let’s see them that way!
Please comment below on your favorite parenting methods, books, and tips. And don’t forget to share with a friend.